Its nothing personal

2009-11-21T05:05:00.002+08:00

Its been a really long time since I've written anything here and I am aware that its like a private and personal space now.

Life itself is truly a beauty and for that, I am motivated to make beauty a reality. We all go through different phrases in life and I'm sure its the unpleasant journeys that make us stronger and wiser.

I have grown a lot since the last entry and I've learnt to see things in a new light. I thank my special one for creating some of my best memories and giving me motivation and strength. I would also like to thank the people who were once part of my life and I haven't forgotten the joy and laughter we've once shared.

I have always and will continue to believe that I am truly blessed despite all the terrible faults I have within me. I don't know what I have done to receive a love so pure and genuine.

Recently, I have been carving out my future plans, step by step and hopefully, I'll get a position in either risk management or investment banking. We'll see where the future takes me and no matter how many setbacks I face, I'll find a way out.

I'll end my short update here and I don't know when I'll be back. My main reason for writing this is because I felt that I needed a proper semi-closure to this abandoned space of mine.

Yours Sincerely,
Serene

P.S I think I sound very serious and formal here but hey! I promise I'm still child-like. Ice-cream anyone?

2009-05-11T05:40:00.001+08:00

Speeding is my latest hobby.

Speeding with my windows wind down at 120km/hr and blasting my music.

That's what I call life.

I'm so willing to risk my life because there is nothing much worth living for.

2009-05-09T22:19:00.001+08:00

I had a dream.

I dreamt I cried bitterly.

And dreams are often a reflection of reality.

I get it.

2009-05-02T07:01:00.001+08:00

In about a couple of hours time, I’ll be leaving for school.

I’m having mixed reactions recently, a confused mind and a very grouchy behaviour. I wouldn’t want to put all the blame on the coming examinations. Pardon me for the sarcastic language used on you. I didn’t mean it. Really.

Sometimes I don’t really know what I’m thinking. Words can hit me really hard at times and it just did. I look back and really wonder what the fuck I was thinking and how my life ended up this screwed up. Yes I did get what I wanted initially but only to realise happiness isn’t what I’ve gotten. Only satisfaction. Self-satisfaction.

I ended up chasing away the people whom I care about, love me and would do anything for me. I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed any of you with my pathetic, self-obsessive behavior. For the first time ever, I actually look down on myself. I pity myself for being this pathetic.

YOU. You’re leaving me too right?

If I were to fall on my knees now and begged you not to, would you? If I screamed at the top of my voice that I love you, would you turn back and give me a second look? Or would you just shake your head in disappointment and walk away?

I really deserve what I’ve gotten. I’m sorry for being a failure in life. There are no second chances in life.

I apologise.

I’ve decided to go into partial-seclusion now, which means limiting my time on the internet. Reach me on my mobile only. Until I feel I have a motive to be back, I’m going to leave this space alone. I’m not hiding from anyone, I just want to spend more time sorting out my thoughts.

-eneres

Until I’ve found myself, my name will be spelt like that .

2009-05-02T03:28:00.001+08:00

please don't leave me.

2009-05-01T16:41:00.001+08:00

The only one I want, the only one I've got.

2009-04-20T00:38:00.002+08:00

Is sick.

2009-04-09T01:55:00.004+08:00

I'm back and I'm not going to lie, I do miss this space. Its not like I've totally forgotten about this place but my mind just goes blank whenever I think of something interesting to write.

Well, its not that I have anything interesting though. Exams are around the corner, everyone's really stressed out.

However, I just want to get my message across through this space. I'm thankful if you're even reading this by the way.

I often wonder what causes people to change and would I view them any differently from last time. The truth is yes. I am the judgemental sort. I'll be thinking 'Eww, why did he or she become like that?' And if this post offends you, then I'm sorry. Maybe the reason why I refuse to blog here is because I'm afraid people might get offended.

However I usually set the standard higher if I am looking for a partner. I mean, I don't think there's anything wrong with setting certain standards for yourself. Let me just put it this way, the person must have high moral standards.

Anything outside that circle is just considered as mutual friends. I wouldn't want my partner to suffer from lung cancer, liver damage and aids, as mentioned by Bernadine.

I'm not trying to deceive myself, but I do have some feelings for people whom I was once close with. But the truth is always disapointing. Letting go is all part of the process, not letting go is all part of the mind. Okay, I don't know about the previous statment but it sounds cool.

Oh ya! I think I just got myself a younger sister! Or at least I treat her like one. Aww, she's really awesomely precious and I'll do anything within my means for her. It took me a lot of hard-work and courage for me to get to this stage!

Another thing I'd like to add in here is do not add salt to my wounds, do not add oil to fire. All these while, I've been taking in all your nonsense, the scoldings, the jealous nature and the making use of me. I'm not going to tolerate it any further and I promise you one more time you do it again to me, I'm going to flare up, big time. And you wouldn't want it to happen, trust me.

I might appear to be very gullible, easy going and mild-tempered but do not push your luck too far. Enough is enough darling.

Until next time!

2009-03-20T02:09:00.000+08:00

Exactly how long is 21 years? I once read from somewhere that your life isn't measured by how many days you've lived, rather by the events that make an impact in your life.

Life's been good for me and I really can't ask for more. I do have everything I need, though not necessarily everything I want but that's alright.

I've been blessed with a loving family and awesome friends. Speaking of friends, isn't it weird that they come and go at certain times in your life? some end up in arguments, others just seem to have died down. I do, however hope that they are all doing well.

Never have I thought of myself to be someone of any importance whatsoever. But I must say that I've been extremely lucky, so much to the extent that I've become this spoilt brat.

If I could select one birthday wish for myself, I would like to be a better person. Someone who is a high achiever because I am aware that I owe my happiness and success to my family, friends and relatives. I won't let them down for sure.

Mum once told me that if I'm someone rich, I would be a generous but spendthrift person. Honestly, that doesn't sound bad. I just need some savings plan and investments. I believe that wealth should be shared.

I guess my words don't contain much power at this point of time. Like how I predicted the rise of certain stock markets and the singapore economy having to tap into more of our reserves very soon. Well, no one really cares about what I have to say because I'm still a nobody. I want to be somebody. Oh and I still strongly hold onto my 'buy gold' believe after the recession. Should have invested in gold last year when prices were down. I don't really have the funds anyway. Haha!

I've always been interested in politics, stock markets and the economy. I remember having my first SGX account at the age of 18 but I was unable to trade stocks because the legal age is 21. I guess I'm qualified to do so now, but its not really the time to trade. I could trade other stuff though. Also, I've been following this recession very closely just like how I did so much research about the 911 and the death of princess diana. Topics like these seem to interest me. A few night ago I was reading about conspiracy theories about president kennedy. I hope I'm normal Haha!

Anyway, a very happy birthday to myself, I still feel like a kid though. I mean, the things I talk about are still rather kiddy oh well.. But some of the friends I mix around are like that as well. Tsk.

Much love,
myself

2009-02-03T22:09:00.002+08:00

2009-01-16T23:00:00.007+08:00

I have decided that I won't be blogging here on a regular basis anymore.

The things that I really want to write are so private and close to me that I really don't want unknown people to know my thoughts. And that's why I have decided to elevate from this place.

Yellow - Coldplay

2009-01-13T04:22:00.002+08:00

This space has been abandoned for some time. It doesn't matter, does it?

Been sick but I refuse to take panadol. Even though it doesn't stay in my body for 5 years. Farhana said I should have gone for Nageb's lesson since I look and behave damn sick in the morning. The reason being is because he won't ask me questions. But I decided to give his lesson a miss, attending the Friday one instead.

I shall just end this entry abruptly.

I have my reasons for my actions, just felt that it was unnecessary to disclose.

2009-01-05T22:06:00.000+08:00

Are you sure you can help?

2008-12-31T03:01:00.009+08:00

Tomorrow marks the start of a new year, 2009. I guess I'm not really 'looking-forward' to usher in the new year. Its more of like okay-this-is-a-horrible-year-so-lets-move-on.

Shall make a list of events which occured

Went to USA

Met a very memorable friend there Sora, she's absolutely amazing and so versatile in her languages. Those 3 days spent with her already made my trip so worthwhile.
The Yosemite Falls, yea said that many times, is like Heaven on Earth. The sound of water sounded so majestic yet it calmed me down.
Would want to visit San Francisco again! My time spent there was too short. Oh and the cashier at the buffet counter, I still doubt she's straight. And if possible, would love to party and experience the night life there. I hear its very 'happening'

Overall, an experience of a lifetime.

New Mazda

Collected the new shiny red Mazda on 19th March. Bid the good old Vios goodbye.

3 Road Accidents

First one occurred in some HDB car park. My fault.
Second occurred at my car park. Also my fault. Was too sleepy at that time and I was speeding down the narrow bend. Lesson learnt.
Third occurred at the street near my house. NOT MY FAULT. Stupid Mercedes Benz behind me was dreaming and he accelerated and BAM!! hit the back of my car. Anyway, his number plate fell off and his wedding was that week. LOL. Was sitting on the back seat without safety belt when this happened. Which is very unlucky because I'm usually very particular about safety. Anyway, this incident has somehow developed into a lawsuit which is not yet settled.

Registered into SIM-UOL

Met Bernadine there. TSK. haha. Also, met some new people like Farhana. The 3 of us call ourselves the R-tard.
Had my share of failures
Get to know people of different culture
Some people really disgusts me there. E.g Using your bare hands to take the curry puff out of the shelves. 2 curry puffs somemore. Consecutively. So dirty can... got the thongs to use don't want to use.
Understood the true meaning of kiasu and hard-core cheating. I now understand why foreigners do so well at times, cheaters.
Improved on my Hokkien, would encourage everyone to pick up a dialect because it gets really convenient to scold 'other' people.
Other things not very convenient to say here.

The fights. Really don't want to bring this up but very briefly,

Jeannie's carpark. Raised my hand at the guy and he came out to scold me. I sped off.
In the bus. Stupid old hack raised his voice at me. Stared at him fiercely after that.
In the bus also. Retarded shit coughed into my face twice and I shouted at him in the bus.

The friendships.

Come and go. Like I said, the new friends I have in school are great. Met a number at Candy Empire but its all diminishing though.
My greatest regret was to get angry at R___. Really don't know how to talk to her all over again. Feel damn guilty.
To you-know-who. Please stop being so cold to us like we're some kind of stranger to you. Afterall, we were once best buds. I don't know what happened between us but you drifted away, vice versa. I'm sorry I can't be there if you were facing any kind of hardships which was never known to me. (If this doesn't sound like its you, then its NOT.)

The relationships.

Juicy eh? Shall let it remain undisclosed.

The crushes

I love Elina and Mckey from ANTM!
Many many, but can't recall. Crushes are meant to be temporary right?

The Genting Trip.
Not really that memorable but it happened so recently I thought I'll do some reflections

Never thought Genting was this nice

Won some money at the casino
Spent my time doing some reflections before sleeping.
Sleep
Still sleeping
Had a buffet meal at Genting Hotel. Food was awesome. I miss the fried promfet fish. Getting hungry as I'm typing damn.

The Working Life

Tuition was alright
Candy Empire... well, was accused for something which I am innocent about. Well, at least they got into trouble after I left. Did you know they got into trouble for selling the Beef Jerky? Because no license to sell beef. How stupid is that. Oh and the health authorities came and confiscated all the Beef! Should have been there to watch the trailer.
Microsoft was awesome

The Regrets

Not being able to watch Kylie Minogue's concert!!!! ROAR.
Taking other people for granted. But thanks for giving in most of the time.
Not studying hard enough. Laziness

The Material Items

Not going to list but thanks for everything!

Somehow, I felt after listing these things down, 2008 isn't that bad of a year because of the holiday trip to USA. I would give up anything to go back there again.

2008-12-24T16:36:00.002+08:00

I went for blood test today!!!!

My first blood test experience okay, and its a HUGE deal to me! Hope the results come out to be negative. sigh.

So I was in the laboratory room, waiting for my turn. Very nervous of course... I fear needles the most. There's this middle-aged lady in front of me. Saw her SMS (because the words are so big), saying something like 'Did you get the thing from Milan?' So I figured out she must be rich + the Burberry handbag she's carrying. So rich come polyclinic for what.

Anyway, she went in first. At first I thought they're going to inject the fingertips area so I wasn't that nervous. But nonono!!! they injected her arm area and I was like... shit. What did I get myself into.. GRRR...

And unfortunately, I went in after her. Started talking to the nurse. Our conversation went like this...
Me: Err.. if I want to check my blood group how arh..
Nurse: Oh like that have to make extra payment, costs $12 more, last time you make IC they never check for you?
Me: No, but does this mean you have to inject twice?
Nurse: No, inject once only..
Me: Oh means inject once but take out more blood?
Nurse: Ya just once only...
Me: (unable to think properly) huh~ I think nvm then
Nurse: Okay you sure arh.. Because next time if you want to check got to inject again..
Me: Hmm ya sure.

Just when the nurse about to inject me, the most horrifying thing happened. The rich lady in front of me just now came back and asked for another plaster because the blood was flowing uncontrollably. Nice timing eh? Idiot. Make me more worried than ever!

Ahh but the whole process was very fast, so not so bad. I might want to go for another test... lol. Its highly addictive.

Anyway, Merry Christmas!!!

will be off to genting until 27th.

2008-12-24T02:08:00.001+08:00

Because life is worth celebrating.

2008-12-22T10:12:00.003+08:00

Weird as I'm typing this because i'm blogging from my mobile!

The above sentence and this one included just costs me 5 mins of my time.

Just want to wish my aunt a very happy birthday and thank you so much for the fabulous dinner.
Just remember that when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

2008-12-20T20:37:00.000+08:00

You voted, so here it is!

2008-12-14T20:09:00.000+08:00

Studying makes me stupid.

2008-12-13T02:48:00.002+08:00

Anticipation is..

2008-12-10T22:31:00.006+08:00

I've never done this before, but this time, I am really confused. So I need the small minority of blog viewers here to help me decide. Whichever phone gets the most votes is the phone I'll be handling for the next 2 years. So keep it honest!

Right, so I'm having quite a problem deciding on either the Nokia N66 or N71. So please help me!!

E66(left), E71(right)

According to Cnet Asia,

For E71.

The good: Slim and stylish design; solid build quality; full range of wireless features; works right out of the box; snappy performance; excellent battery life.

The bad: Counter-intuitive camera autofocus; media browser could do with a little upgrade; Easy Dial feature not available.

The bottom line: The Nokia E71 is easily one of the best QWERTY smart phones that combine strong features as well as a good balance between business and entertainment, at a competitive price.

For E66

The good: Solid and attractive build; HSDPA, Wi-Fi and A-GPS; excellent productivity tools.

The bad: Smaller battery compared with the E71; accelerometer can be a nuisance.

The bottom line: While we like the E71 better, the E66 is a great smart phone with class-leading features. If you want the functionality of a business phone without the bulk of a PDA form factor, the E66 is the phone you've been looking for

Your decision is vital!

2008-12-09T03:02:00.003+08:00

Name something you did yesterday?
Went to Crystal Jade for dinner

Do you have a chair in your room?
yea 2 of them

What are you doing tomorrow?
Hanging out with my friends, checking out phone prices

What color is your hair?
black. Typical Asian

Do you miss anyone?
Yes.

Who was the last person you were in a car with?
Mom and Dad

Who is in the house with you?
Mom, Dad and my brother

What's something you really want right now, be honest?
Nokia E66. And also...

Does anything hurt on your body?
I don't think so.

Who was the last person to disappoint you?
Siew Ting because she cancelled our dinner date.

Who was the last person you had a conversation with?
errr...

Anything annoying you right now?
More like bothering... yea.

Are you going anywhere for the next summer?
Nope but genting during Christmas. guess I should be grateful for that!

Are you waiting for anyone to call right now?
No... maybe an SMS.

Have you ever regretted anything?
duh.

Do you judge people you don't know?
I do, unfortunately.

Who/what is in your mind right now?
I don't wanna say. Schoolwork? haha

Do you miss how things used to be?
Definately. Its always amazing to watch how people change and become so money-minded. Whatever happened to true happiness? Money's important but it doesn't give you permanent happiness. So quit your i-want-a-rich-partner dream and get real!

Is there someone on your mind that shouldnt be?
Is this some kinda test to see if I'm cheating?

How do you show anger?
By pulling the longest and darkest face ever known to mankind and stomping my way around. lol.

Does anyone hate you?
Sure. But it doesn't really bother me because its really part of their anger management issue.

Would you ever tattoo a boy's/girl's name on you?
No way. I think its really foolish. If I ever do it one day, pls wake me up.

What was the last thing you laughed at really hard?
the mirror's reflection. lol

Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?
See!! another question out to test me

Is there a night you would like to put on repeat, and live it forever?
Sure.

Is there someone you'd like to fix things with?
Maybe.

What kind of mood are you in?
not too bad. kinda..

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?
Yes

Have you ever liked someone older than you?
Yea.. not that big of a deal

Do you say sorry first?
Sometimes..

Are you a forgiving person?
Depends on who it is. Most of the time, I forgive faster than I know myself.

Are you mad about anything?
Umm Yeaaa

Do you drink soda?
Sure

Do you like things in life to stay how they are or change?
Change

2008-12-07T23:43:00.000+08:00

I'm cool.
I'm very calm.
I just wanna destroy your laptop =)

2008-12-05T02:16:00.002+08:00

What I've written below is something which is really close to me. Describes how I'm feeling exactly...

There's no point typing it in here because it can be decoded so easily. But ignore this entry. I just felt like trying something new.

2008-12-01T21:19:00.002+08:00

I've thrown myself into parital disequilibrium.

Its more of like, I want something but I know its not right of me to have it. At the same time, temptation sets in. I know that if I just let nature take its course, I'm going to be sinking in further. And for some reasons, I enjoy the thrill of it.

Sigh.

2008-11-24T01:27:00.002+08:00

Its been about 2 weeks since I last blogged but no one's really reading so it doesn't matter.

There are 2 directions in which this little space will go.

1. Off the internet, deleted.
2. Just laze around here and I'll probably update when I'm free.

So anyway, schools been a drag and my life is kinda monotonous. I still wanna change my hair color to something extreme but everyone disagrees. Argh. Until next time (maybe).

2008-11-11T22:15:00.001+08:00

Some say the world might end in 2012.

But one thing for sure,

I'm as good as dead now.
My heart has been slashed
My soul ripped apart.

Nothing really matters to me now.

2008-11-03T22:13:00.004+08:00

Every day I fight a war against a mirror

I can't take the person staring back at me

I'm my own worst enemy

it's bad when you dont know yourself

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-27T23:18:00.002+08:00

Reverse psychology works on some people but I'd wish it would work on you. I realised its what I've been hoping for, for a long time.

I wish I could fly.

2008-10-19T19:37:00.001+08:00

Many things,

You don't know about me
I don't want you to know about me
You don't need to know

Just because,
You're still a stranger afterall.

2008-10-17T21:52:00.002+08:00

The Earth spins before me
Blurring my vision, adding confusion
With a touch of cocaine
I felt life was back to normal

2008-10-15T14:03:00.003+08:00

Take care in Thailand, hopefully you'll get your relationship back on track. Don't want to see you all depressed... Love, always.

Tests are finally over. Econs suck. Damn, never trust an ang moh lecturer.. sigh. Bluff children one.. tsk. Cheat my feelings.

5 Facts for now

- I still think Bernard Ong is adorable.
- I hate mannequins and barbie dolls or anything doll-related. They give out this i-am-evil aura.
- The thunder and lightning now reminds me of.................... that psychotic lecturer...
- Ah... I'm not a fan of mickey mouse.. I just like the one I have at home. Just that one.
- I believe teh tarik ice-cream should be abolished. No bubbles!

2008-10-10T21:41:00.001+08:00

When things going on in school becomes overboard.

I have to do something.

2008-10-07T09:32:00.002+08:00

MOS has certainly left quite an impression on my clubbing scene last time. I loved it. The time when I met D for a number of times, went with my poly mates... It feels like I've left so much emotions behind. No doubt sad, but I guess its just one of those signs that your surroundings are changing, which also means you're getting old.

Sigh.

2008-10-06T21:27:00.005+08:00

You're so pathetic. HAHA

Arh.. bring me to that ice-cream place, you-know-who.
Time to focus and have fun at the same time.

2008-10-05T17:52:00.002+08:00

I've had enough of your nonsense and excuses. It doesn't matter anymore to me.

I've nothing to lose.

2008-10-02T22:45:00.002+08:00

I'm really developing the can't-be-bothered attitude and its really getting worse. Its not good. Very bad actually. But with so many things on my mind all the time, I really need my own space. Forgive me I appear to be nonchalent.

And.. as for SMSes, I'm gonna take a long time to reply unless its really urgent. But I figured out if its urgent I'll receive a call instead. I've always preferred talking on the phone. SMS-ing's just too... erm............................. nvm, you fill it up yourself.

I don't understand why 'outsiders' must always be dragged in when we're having our own cozy discussion.

2008-09-28T12:55:00.005+08:00

I went for the F1!!!!

Thats my 'ticket'. I had the walkabout pass.

There were the hard-core fans...

And if you're looking to spot a F1 car here, sorry, too fast to capture anything. All I managed to take was the above, when the car zoomed past me. (some traces of light)

All I managed to take was this...

and this.

:/

My overall experience was great. It was obviously very LOUD. But really cool.

I'm that unreasonable bitch everyone's mummering about.

2008-09-20T20:46:00.001+08:00

I'm thinking of going blonde... seriously.

2008-09-17T00:01:00.002+08:00

Life is so fragile. Sometimes you begin to wonder how many more sunsets you can view before you leave.

Let me recall the past few days. Hmm...

1 - Waited 4 hrs plus for a lesson only to realise lessons have already started. Yes, lost track of time.
2 - Got to savour one of the nicest soup ever by this guest chef, Irma Dutsch. The soup has a very mild creamy taste but has loads of wine added to it. No doubt expensive, but I felt it was worth it.
3 - Ever drank HOT canned milo? Well, I did. I thought the vending machine made an error by placing the word 'HOT' instead of 'COLD'.
4 - Learnt that 3 people I know are getting married next year. My brother and 2 of my female cousins. Which also leaves me to be the only female in my Mum's side to be unmarried.
5 - I think we're having another great depression soon. Judging from the current closure of Lehman Brothers, the future looks very bleak. An estimated number of 1000 banks will close down as well.

I'm worried for the future.

2008-09-10T21:00:00.001+08:00

Why do I feel like a total wrack.

Ignorance, Ignore, Ignored

2008-09-09T15:40:00.001+08:00

Omg elina is smokin' hawt!

2008-09-08T23:02:00.001+08:00

I'm on the verge of giving up.

Aware that certain matters cannot be forced, I'm just lost

2008-09-08T00:46:00.003+08:00

Sometimes you feel that you've done your best to go all the way out to make time for others. You squeeze time out, take off days, drive out for supper just to meet them, and when they're finally free, BAM! they tell you they're meeting other friends.

How would you feel? For me its unappreciated and I just feel like letting myself go. Setting myself free.

Yes, I'm upset. Kim gave me a virtual hug just now. Feels good actually.

Serene, take things one step at a time. Isolate yourself from the harmful ones slowly. Don't let yourself be hurt any longer because you know you deserve better.

2008-09-07T02:41:00.002+08:00

Part of me feels disconnected from myself.

I have no idea why I'm in this state myself. Maybe its time to give up? But seriously, how often have I given things up. Most of the time, things are given to me and rarely do I have to part with it. However, if under forced circumstances, however hard it might be, I still have to let it go. But how? How do you let go? Easy as it may sound, it could be one of the hardest things I've yet to do.

Should I just snap the string?

2008-09-05T00:41:00.002+08:00

Been thinking a lot recently. But anyway, I feel that I'm living my life the way I want it to be now. Free from the hectic schedules and lifestyle, I finally feel like a student once again. No more explanations needed.

But throughout this entire experienced I've learnt many valuable lessons. It doesn't mean that if you stay in one place for a longer period of time you'll learn more. For me, life becomes stale when it is repeated over and over again. Time's up, time to move on. And I believe that I have emerged a wiser person.

Peace

2008-08-27T23:54:00.003+08:00

sorry

2008-08-21T23:36:00.002+08:00

There are a lot of things that are beyond our control. News that I would categorise as 'unacceptable' to me may be just a norm to others. So when this 'unaccpetable' news reaches my inbox, I can't help but think that if I had been there, would things be any different?

Its unlikely, I know. But the words 'what if' continues to linger at the back of my mind. I guess I will never know.

Because I am only limited

2008-08-19T07:11:00.001+08:00

What have you done today to make yourself feel proud?

2008-08-16T01:46:00.002+08:00

Dearest Mickey,

I feel kinda down today. Was supposed to go for a class gathering but got cancelled last minute for whatever reasons I shall not disclose. Have you ever had the feeling for loneliness, rejection?

I worry about not being able to keep my life in place. Work, play, studies... Maybe next time, I shall just reduce it to work and studies since I've lost majority of my company. It sucks to feel this way. I'm not your follower, its not fair to me and don't behave like everything's okay because its not.

But at the end of the day, I come back home and see you on my bed. Sometimes you cheer me up a little. Other times, I just can't be bothered. You're not a living thing. You're just a cute soft toy from Disney Land Resort.

But I love you all the same.

xoxo

2008-08-13T22:29:00.002+08:00

Need to find a way to balance between work, play, studies. Why do I suddenly feel 7 days a week isn't enough for me?

I need the perfect organiser.

2008-08-06T23:35:00.003+08:00

I know its a little late....

But happy 7th month.

Love,
Me & my son

2008-08-06T09:09:00.001+08:00

What else have you done

2008-08-01T08:55:00.004+08:00

I feel really hurt when I first heard that the Yosemite National Park had caught fire. It hurts so bad because I've been there and experienced the peace within. I would describe it as heaven on Earth. The trees there were really tall and aplenty which makes the fire more difficult to control. It doesn't take the tree one day to grow that high up and its going to take years for Yosemite National Park to recover. SIGH.

Pictures taken when I was there..

=[

2008-07-28T04:48:00.002+08:00

I was talking to this really nice guy who lives in USA and was sharing with him some of my experiences there. And then I thought to myself,

If one day I'm fighting with death, I would tell myself that I would be able to pull myself though because I wanna go back USA to experience the marvels of the country.

This may not be the best time in my life but I'll pull through it because I have a goal.

Oh btw, 2nd car accident ths month. Only this time, I was the driver. Don't wanna elaborate, I'll be fine after a few treatments.

2008-07-20T15:02:00.002+08:00

Got into an accident. Was sitting behind without safety belt and this Mercedes banged from the back. I swinged forward. Now the right side of my body feels painful.

2008-07-20T01:12:00.001+08:00

Having a really high fever and i can barely talk

2008-07-09T23:13:00.002+08:00

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation.

Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people.

The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any form of meaningful human contact.

Lonely people often experience a subjective sense of inner emptiness or hollowness, with feelings of separation or isolation from the world.

I'm lonely.

2008-07-09T17:06:00.000+08:00

I'm just so tired. Sick. And the best part is I asked for it.

2008-07-03T16:59:00.002+08:00

I am..

the squirrel from Arizona
the waitress from Denny's
the lady from Nordstorm

but

I am who I'm not

I am, however,

an Illusionist.

2008-06-28T11:23:00.003+08:00

Dearest Singtel,

About 3 weeks back we subscribed to the all-in-one MIO plan which includes MIOTV(22 channels included for SGD19.90), broadband and the telephone line. 1 week later, your technician, David, whom I must mention isn't very friendly came to install the MIO plan for us. Nevermind about that issue, when we had the MIO plan installed we were told that our MIOtv does not have any channels (yet).

So we called you, Singtel, on the very day of installation and asked for an explanation. You said that it should be okay by 'noon'. 2 weeks have passed and your 'noon' hasn't arrived. We called again as we were unable to settle it the previous week due to other more important commitments. This time, we were told that we're not subscribed to the MIOtv plan at all. WOW. You told us that we could only watch 2 video-on-demand shows every month BUT we need to subscibe.

You see, why would we even want the MIOtv boxset if we just wanted to watch 2 video-on-demand per month? I had the boxset because we SUBSCRIBED to your plan at the Westmall Singtel shop.

As such I would like to cancel the whole MIOtv plan.

Yours Sincerely
Serene Tan

2008-06-27T21:21:00.002+08:00

Today's not a good day.

Ikea slammed a stack of trays onto my thumb when I was about to grab one and didn't apologise. I was in PAIN.

This bunch of overseas people sitting on the same bus as me. So bloody retarded.

Spilled pepsi on my chicken wings but still tastes okay actually.

ROAR.

2008-06-25T18:51:00.004+08:00

See the links on the left side of my blog? I decided to do something... Like what I think off when I look at your name. Keep guessing which one's yours.

You are?
Library books and school
Wah lao eh.. same course next time maybe..
Update? Or I'll unlink. lol.
Waiting for your wedding invitation.
I wonder...
Long time since we last chat!
Ah! same school next time also
Study study stress.
I think you're a despo sorry.

2008-06-23T12:08:00.002+08:00

I look back in my life and I think to myself,

WOW 20 years have passed?? Lets say if I'm lucky, I'll live till 60. Which means I've lived for 1/3 of my life already.

%%$^*&

I think that living life without regrets is probably one of the hardest things to accomplish.

2008-06-20T10:39:00.003+08:00

When I was in States, I went to the golden gate bridge. And being the number 1 suicide spot in the world, I can understand why so many people would choose to end their life there. In my opinion, I find the architecture extremely impressive and truly magnificent.

Taken from Wikipedia,

"The Golden Gate Bridge is a frequent site for suicide. The deck is approximately 260 feet (79 m) above the water. After a fall of approximately four seconds jumpers hit the water at some 88 miles per hour (142 km/h), which is nearly always fatal. Most of those who survive the impact die in the frigid water."

Which also means that before you touch the waters, you'll most probably be dead unless you land with your foot.

And so, this brings me to something which I found on youtube. Its not gore but I would describe it as a beautiful tragic. Beautiful because of the way he chose to jump.

Notice the way he jumps.. I dunno. There must be a reason why he chose to do it. And so I did a little research and I actually found his blog.

http://freekboyg.livejournal.com/

Copy and paste the link if you wanna read it. I feel weird right now. Because I felt like I've gotten to know a complete stranger and I even have his death footage. Anyway, R.I.P.

Note: I find this video painful to watch because I do know of someone who has ended her life there.

2008-06-19T06:47:00.003+08:00

Feeling awesome is when you honk at a driver and every passenger in your car cheers for you and starts cursing at the driver you honk at.

2008-06-18T01:53:00.000+08:00

my head hurts really really bad. argh.

2008-06-15T05:14:00.004+08:00

All the love I can give.
You'll always have a part of it.
I'm glad you replied to me.
For once I was getting worried.

But let's play mysterious. Love it.

2008-06-14T19:06:00.003+08:00

Before I die,

I wanna feel an earthquake.
See a tornado. I think it's freaking gorgeous.
Experience snow.
Visit America many more times.

Have you ever thought of where would be the perfect place to die?

Mine would be at San Simeon, overlooking the pacific ocean during sunset. What's yours?

2008-06-13T00:23:00.002+08:00

Here's a little secret about me.

I.. have problems trying to put eye drops and eye gel.

F. it. Damn.

2008-06-10T00:01:00.002+08:00

I always have this belief in me and that is whenever I lose something which belongs to me, I'll always get it back. I know you're probably thinking what a snob I am but its kinda true...

Take for example I lost my wallet a couple of times and someone returned it to me. The more recent one would be losing my wallet again but only my cards were returned back to me. Like better than nothing right.. And the most recent one would be losing my cell phone at the Grand Canyon but I found it =]

Is it true that what's meant to be yours will always belong to you?

2008-06-08T01:28:00.003+08:00

Freeze
A moment, its never been better
Freeze
All over, we won't last forever

Don't stop, gotta know what you got

There's no second chances in life

Don't break, gotta give what you take

With you

-Freeze, Jordin Sparks

2008-06-06T09:09:00.001+08:00

You left. I didn't.

You decided to give up.

Self-abuse, self-harm, scars, blood, scratch, slit, violence.

2008-06-05T02:28:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling tempted to write this entry because I'm afraid that as time goes by, my memory will fade a little. This entry is dedicated to a friend whom I met when I was in States.

So I was in States with my parents and this lady joined us for the city tour. Her name's Sora and she's a Japanese. Now, I not a Japanese fanatic or anything like that. So we started talking to her in English and later learns that she knows Chinese as well because she stayed in China for 8 months and I must say, speaks better chinese than me. So she's pretty much versatile in her languages. English, chinese, Japanese...

We went to Las Vegas together and got cheated by our tour guild to watch this strip show and I remember her whispering to me saying she doesn't see any difference between the most expensive seats and the cheaper once because the hall's not very big. On the last day of Las Vegas, my parents went their own way and the both of us pretty much explored the various hotels together and yeah, we got lost. It was hilarious come to think of it now because the tour guild was damn shitty and he won't wait for late comers. So we panicked like hell but managed to find out way back,just in time. Phew.

We also went to the magnificent Grand Canyon together and we were so impressed with it. But she didn't like the squirrel which I loved. I helped her snap a few pictures but she didn't like her camera so she used her cell phone instead.

3 days later, we parted our own ways at the factory outlet. I remember her saying she doesn't like Coach mainly because she's a huge fan of LV. She headed for China town and I went to San Francisco for the night. Only on the 2nd day did I visit Chinatown.

So I'm hoping Sora would come visit Singapore soon, there's starbucks for her here haha. I wish my friend well.

2008-06-04T04:16:00.003+08:00

My heart’s been beating unusually fast the past few months, on and off, and I think its related to high blood pressure. But I hope I’m alright. My fingers are numb, I feel awful emotionally. I engage myself in online activities (healthy ones).

Haven’t been doing much except for a meetup with poly mates (see liyun’s blog for pics). Sometimes I dislike my mentality. I dislike others with such mentalities too, only to find out that I’m like that as well.

***

You know, when I heard from Mum that the filmng locations a Universal Studios was being burnt down due to a huge fire, I was going 'NO WAY! You're kidding me'.

And indeed she wasn't. That place is one of my favorite places when I went to America some weeks back. I got to see King Kong, the various studios and really cool effects. Its like a piece of me being burnt as well I can't tell you how mch I adore that place and how heart-broken I am (as if my condition isn't bad enough). I even have plans to visit that place again.

I could still remember clearly that when I first stepped into Universal, I had this huge smile on my face for whatever reasons. But perhaps, I should be proud to say that I've been there before.

***

I don't know what games are being slapped into my face right now but I guess I should maintain my cool about it.

2008-05-24T10:05:00.006+08:00

I'm back and I'm definately alive. WOW. My trip to USA was definately a blast and I'm still suffering the side effects of it after about a week. Managed to filter out some images and I thought I might wanna share with you if you're interested.

A trip to States from Mickey Mouse on Vimeo.

Day 1

Arrving at LAX airport after a really long flight journey. But I was really excited.

Its not 'Bus Stopping' anymore.
After checking in to our hotel, Wyndham Fullerton, we went to walk around the very country-side town of ours. Went to Denny's and this really helpful waitress was telling us how to get to South Coast Plazaby bus, because there isn't any taxi in town and if you were to book a driver, its gonna cost us 150USD. That shopping mall was awesome and we really liked it sooooo much that we decided to go back there again on our last day.

So... Day 2

Yay Disney Land! Every kids dream... Its not bad... but I prefer Universal Studios. More about that later...

Oh... everyone has to try this bread! The bakery itself is in Disney Land and its so fresh! Got to spend lots of time queing though.

The night view at disney. Thats the ferris wheel... If you think Singapore's one is impressive (yawn) wait till you ride that one... There are 2 different types of cabin, the stationary one and the one that swings! Well I took the one that could swing and omg.. scary stuff.

Day 3

My favourite Universal Studios!!! For some unknown reasons, I started smiling when I entered that place :/

The studio tour was really awesome. We were seated in a tram and they brought us to the filiming locations. Really cool and they showed us the special effects used in movies etc. Our guild was Perry and he's a real entertainer.

Spin that car..

I command a flood!

That aeroplane costs USD 60K to buy and 200k to destroy.

Went to watch a show at waterworld and it was really well done. Hahaa... they would splash water at you so be careful!

That jet just flew out from nowhere and the audience were all going 'wow! omg!'

Real fire okay... could feel the heat

Thats my soup for dinner at Coco's Restaurant. You'll never drink Pasta Mania's Minestrone again.

Day 4

On the way to Las Vegas!! Its really built in a desert...

Stopped by this factory outlet and everyone went mad. But well, I felt was okay only. Coach was cheap but I didn't like Coach.

Ah! The biggest hotel in Las Vegas, The Venetian. I don't like it. Too many people snapping pictures inside and it gets irritating. I wouldn't want to stay in a hotel that has so many tourists flooding the hotel you're staying.

The night view... and the fake Eiffel Tower

Bellagio hotel is considered one of the most expensive hotel around and the only thing I likedabout it is the very famous fountain. Other than that, nah... same reasons as The Venetian.

Inside Luxor hotel, where its shaped like a pyramid the the lifts travel at a 50 degree angle.Kinda cool.

d to be one of the 7 wonders of the world. It sure looks fake to me... lol. But its nice la... Nature always is.

Everybody say 'AWWW' this squirrel was spotted near the Grand Canyon. So cute!!!

Day 6

is it! My favourite hotel in Las Vegas. It has a very cozy feel and I really like it.

The very majestic MGM logo.

Inside MGM. Pity I didn't have much photos but it looks fantastic.

Day 7

Stopped by this place called Solvang on our way to San Francisco. Nothing much.

Also stopped by Hearst castle. Its just a really huge place(larger than Singapore if I'm not wrong) owned by this guy, William Rudolph Hearst.

Day 8

Was at San Francisco, and I spotted the Church of Scientology. LOL

forced to climb all the way up okay... I was so effing tired and grumpy about it. :/

Fisherman's wharf... the place well-known for their overpriced seafood but fresh though.

My bowl of yummy lobster bisque..

And my cod fish&chips. Ordered crab too but I couldn't eat =[

Yeah then we went to this hotel with a very stupid name. Chukchansi Grand. It was a long long long long drive there.

Day 9

Ahh... I love this place. The Yosemite falls, world's 2nd tallest waterfall. It felt great to be there. Serenity.

And so, we went back to Wyndham Fullerton hotel at Orange County to stay for another 2 nights Shopped at South Coast plaza etc.

I've never felt so tired blogging. Gee. Probably my longest entry so far. I also realized there's a shitload of typo errors in it so pardon me.

2008-05-08T00:59:00.002+08:00

In just a few hours time, I'll be leaving for states. I don't really know if I should feel happy or excited but I know I'll miss home. Damn.

So I'll be flying with United Airlines ( the plane that got hijacked in 911). And come to think of it, its really a shame should the plane be hijacked again (touch wood). I mean, look at me! I'm at my prime! My life is wonderful right now! Couldn't ask for more.

So yeah, take care, God Bless.

Hey Amanda, lets me schoolmates all over again. Just like it was, 10 years ago. lol. I swear I'm not that old pls.

2008-05-03T06:35:00.001+08:00

?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?

Need to get every single thing settled by the end of next week. argh..

2008-04-25T01:14:00.003+08:00

1. I feel very uneasy with large crowds especially on the MRT.
2. I feel very guilty due to certain things that have happened.
3. I just want to say 'Don't take it out on me' I've done nothing wrong.
4. I'm not feeling positive about the way things are right now.
5. I'm afraid.

Don't ask, don't tell.

Everything comes with an expire date and even if it doesn't, it'll just wear off sooner or later.

2008-04-15T23:28:00.002+08:00

Randy Pausch is such a great guy. God Bless him and his family.

Brother: You want to go out for supper?
Me: I'm tired..
Brother: I've known you for 20 years already and the only time you're not tired was when you're a baby!
Me: Because I dunno how to express myself back then mah..

I'm not exactly in a good mood right now.. but I guess I've to take everything with a pinch of salt.

2008-04-11T00:53:00.002+08:00

After being gone for a long time, I felt the urge to come back because... hmm.. I dunno...

Anyway, A HUGE CONGRATULATIONS TO AMANDA FOR PASSING HER DRIVING ON 1ST ATTEMPT. So proud of you! Yay!

Once you become a driver, cursing and swearing and fighting on the road is just so common. Really aggresive drivers out there so be sure to drive safely!

Speaking of driving, I love to drive really near to those learning drivers. Just to stress them up a bit :/ Eh... its not wad okay... I get this kinda treatment all the time when I was learning.

chao.

2008-03-20T14:44:00.004+08:00

Got this yesterday

I think its so hawt. Well, I managed to take the car out for a spin and I couldn't get used to the brakes initially. Very different from my previous car. Well, the full tank for my car costs like over a hundred bucks. Sigh.. I need to be filthy rich to drive this monster.

So yesterday, being March 19th, was my birthday, also my car's birthday. HAHAHA. Happy birthday to the both of us.

And thank you all for the celebration, the SMSes, the birthday drawing (Hey Camii, thats you! I'll post your drawing soon. lol).

It was a great birthday. I got a cake, a great spead of thai food, a laptop, got to see and drive my new car, received erm... FLOWERS?! My aunt and uncle celebrated my birthday in advance so thank you for the wonderful penang buffet @ Princess Terrace.

Oh man... the penang buffet was A.W.E.S.O.M.E !!!

If a change will soon take place, how will you adapt to things? Give up the old and try something newer?

2008-03-17T05:45:00.003+08:00

I've been thinking of the term 'what if'

If you have never said such things, circumstances would have been different. I do miss you, but for the sake of waking myself up to face reality, I had to say those stuff to you.

I can't possibly get everyone to like me and be the most well-liked person on Earth. But when a person speaks ill about you, it just reflects on their true personality. That is the reason why I see no need to defend myself when stumbled with questions like 'What happened ....'.

Search yourself. Search your inner-self. And perhaps you'll find the answer instead of wanting it spoon-fed to you.

I'm gonna buy a book by Dr Wayne W. Dyer and I hope to gain something from him. Saw him on TV the other day and his words moved me. I have the diving ability to manifest and attract what I need or desire.

Dr. Wayne Dyer once asked, “Who on their death bed wishes that they spent more time at work?” Isn't that true?

Life is too short for regrets. Day by day, I uncover a little more about myself. I personally think everyday is perfect, its just the way you see things.

My soul guides me in the right direction.
Your soul—that inner quiet space—is yours to consult.
It will always guide you in the right direction.
Follow your heart today, and see where it takes you.
Follow that stream of love, and discover a beautiful today.

Peace out.

2008-03-12T03:42:00.004+08:00

So once in a while, I would do something to revamp the whole outlook of my desktop background. And since I just got my vista, here's how it looks like now..

I don't know about you, but I'm pleased with the outcome. haha..

Thats my very simple screen saver. And yes, I do have a lot of spare time right now. Got to enjoy while I still can!

2008-03-11T17:39:00.002+08:00

I got this precious recently... its hawt.

And I'll be going to states for a while soon... hopefully graduation day doesn't clash with it.

2008-03-08T05:04:00.002+08:00

I've been busy.

So I went for my first job interview and yay! I got it. Its an interesting job which I feel suits me. Well, its a temp job anyway.

I'm a spy for this HUGE organisation(you're most likely to be using one of their products)... can't reveal. So my job scope would be mainly visiting various shops and comment on the product display and design of the shop. Also, going into the shops to test the sales person's friendliness and product knowledge. Yeah then got to write reports on it and give my opinions during meeting.

Very cool and demanding job.

=]

2008-03-05T00:21:00.001+08:00

If the below is true

Then I should probably start working now instead of wasting my time studying.

2008-02-26T10:55:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling so mundane. And I feel that my mind is about to break down anytime. Sometimes, I just feel like making some major major changes in my life. But its gonna affect some people and I got to be prepared to sacrifice a number of friends.

Yes, I'm mad right now, fuming with rage. For reasons that I can't disclose and can only keep it to myself. Its suffocating. I should probably stop blog hopping and learning more things which won't be of any form of benefit to me. The more i know, the more complicated the situation becomes. But I can't possible turn a blind eye to everything right...

So its like a cycle.

I sometimes blame my over-analytical mind. I solve questions like how I would piece up a jig-saw puzzle. Lying to me is like a form of deposit. Because once I find out, I'll return it back to you with interest.

I think I really need a change but I need to give it careful consideration.

2008-02-23T04:22:00.002+08:00

"Tomorrow you going for lecture?"

A question which once sounded so familiar to me and always taken for granted. I don't hear this question now. And I kinda miss it.

School's ended. Like a complete end. Its sad. Really sad. I'll miss my clique, my friends, my lecturers etc. sigh.

So I haven't been doing much. Been watching Dr. Phil, playing sushido@viwawa.com. Feeling so lifeless. Argh... I'll find something to do.

I think the start of 2008's been really upsetting. Like so many people/animals seem to be dying. There was MC King, Heath Ledger, Lydia Sum, Ah Meng, the 2 NYP students who died at devil's bend, another riding a motorbike... sigh.

I hope things get better.

2008-02-19T02:55:00.002+08:00

I don't know why but even though exams are over, I'm still super stress. I'm not really in a cheerful mood right now.

The more things I know, the more I start to feel depressed. And the things which others try to hide from me, only to be found out by myself, the more hurtful it is to me. How many more times..

I really wanna give up on myself. I've been fighting this mental obstacle against myself for a really long time. I'm tired. I wanna go to bed and never see light again.

2008-02-17T04:44:00.002+08:00

Driving is truly a dangerous and phobiac activity.

Was driving along clementi road on the 15th Feb at around midnight and I noticed this alarming sight on the lane I was travelling towards. So of course I had the mind to change lane and it turned out that there was a dead/injured dog lying in the middle on the lane. Apprantly, some f*cking driver must have been speeding and knocked the poor dog down. Hit-and-run.

The dog was lying in the middle of a pool of its own blood. Sigh. At that point of time, I didn't know what to do. Call the police? That would be a joke. SPCA? Their closed. LTA? I dunno. So how? Whoever hit that poor dog better feel guilty.

Going for a haircut later in the day. I guess I might want to change salon(Since Marc isn't working there anymore).. I have a haircut in mind but I don't think many stylists can pull it off. Current hairstylist is good but I wanna try something more bold. lol. If it fails, then I'll look like an idiot for 2 months.

Le Salon's been great. Have been with them for the past 1 year or more and they never fail to impress me. I'll try toni & guy this time. See how things go. Or maybe I'll change my mind last minute and return to Le Salon.

Monday's my final paper... I don't have much confidence in that paper though. Sigh.

2008-02-12T08:21:00.000+08:00

Some news got me all excited recently. My folks will be changing car soon. Yay!

So I guess it should be this

I'm just worried about the fuel consumption of this car...but it should be okay if the rpm doesn't exceed 2.5

Actually I was hoping for another one but hey, I should be glad I have a car to drive.

2008-02-10T18:35:00.001+08:00

I don't know why I'm feeling so sad over the death of Ah Meng... Sigh.

The caretaker of Ah Meng said that her son didn't eat. Like so sad can... =(

2008-02-02T02:03:00.000+08:00

I'm having this so called headache. Its weird because I don't feel pain but instead, its like headache to me. nvm if you can't comprehend. I can't either.

School's totally screwed and I'm under a huge amount of stress. Haven't been driving due to a rocket-high amount of accidents on the road these days.

Went to Haji lane today with Huiteng. That place is like.. Malacca. Weird place to be in but they have all these designer clothings. I think its where the rich kids patronise. Didn't get anything there la.. Just didn't feel like shopping there.

I'm usually very strong internally but now, I'm both internally & externally weak. Sigh.

2008-01-27T02:58:00.000+08:00

Don't do this to my brother... he's the only one I've got and the only son in my family.

Please.

2008-01-23T16:49:00.000+08:00

breathe.

2008-01-19T14:20:00.000+08:00

Been stacked with projects. Sigh.

Lecturer was telling me that if they don't give us the projects, next time no chance. lol... since its the final year in school.

NYP lecturers are damn adorable. lol. Kravitz, Oh Soo Leng, Mark Lim, Xiao Pang, Albert Chua etc.

ST & I : Tmr we'll be having night class though
Albert Chua : Oh so sad~

Its gonna be tough after I graduate. Like all options open for me. Parental rejections etc. Sigh. Why can't they just be more supportive of me? If I don't go now, I never will. I'll fly back to attend my brother's wedding.

I feel I'm the travelling type of person. I like to push myself to the limits at times. The more horrible I feel, the better. LOL.

Oh ya... the N95, simulation for GPS is damn cool! envy envy.

So now you know

2008-01-13T01:01:00.000+08:00

Should I leave Singapore for 4 months and go work in USA?

How will things change?

Am I prepared to sacrifice my comfort now and go to a remote place and learn to be independent? Its like starting life all over again.

Thinking..

2008-01-05T10:21:00.000+08:00

The past is a living memory.

I really miss those days. Sigh. Jeannie and I were talking about those 'back in the days' stuff last night. Like knowing that I'll fail my science for sure, I decided to stand up as a punishment before the teacher called my name. lol.

And the relieve dumb chinese teacher who always says 'ju qi ni de gui shou'. I don't know if she's innocent or stupid. Like after 'ting xie' she asked us to hand in our books and I started to appraoch Hui Teng to help me write those words which I didn't know. Jeannie was blocking that scene. Its hilarious and dumb at the same time. She should have just asked us to pass our books to the front.

I still feel exremely guilty towards the Chin woman. Want to apologise to her but I don't know where she is anymore. She's always so stress about me, Julie and Jeannie. LOL. How we used to sit beside each other and yak not stop. Then she finally split us up and we ended shouting across the class just to talk to one another. Such headache students.

你们呢，最好呢，好自为知啊！ Adorable.

2008-01-04T06:04:00.000+08:00

I'm really starting to feel the bite after losing my wallet. Got consoled by people who lost their wallet too. So strange. They're like.. "Hey, I know how it feels like, been through that phrase".

Which also means I misplaced my driver's license and that adds fuel to fire. I can't drive. BUT. I drove la. AND. What happened was I got road blocked by some traffic police. Damn suey. BUT nothing happened. PHEW.

I realised that your identity is probably the most important thing you can possess. And currently, I have none.

Don't drag me in